and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I pour the whiskey from now on
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
