Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Houston, we have a squirter
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
