I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
