i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
