Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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