super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize