Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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