and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
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his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i drank out of a bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My ass is underappreciated
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