My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
