Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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