my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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