I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
