high people should be assigned attendants
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
