I accidentally burped into my bong.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
