that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
