I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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