Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
