Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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