I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I need to align my fucking chakras
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
