a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
