Whod you bang
worst night to have a conscience
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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