i think my tv is drunk
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize