At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
