She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."