Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head