I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Less talking, more tequila
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
