I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
