Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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