I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
