I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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