I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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