did you get engaged???
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
