U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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