I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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