didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
