He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think a kid would responsible me up
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
