Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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