What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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