She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
