He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
