I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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