So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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