My first STD was from a foam party
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
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Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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