i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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