There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
