Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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