Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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