grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
