dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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