love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Screwed.edu
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
