im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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