guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
