Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize