Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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