u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
soo... how was my night?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
